One thing that defines Americans is we love choices. The COVID-19 pandemic is testing that characteristic, and the test is playing out in mundane and profound ways in which we attempt to have it as many ways as we can, because that's who we are.
One obvious example: I dislike wearing a mask because, yes, I'm an American who chafes at being told what to do and because even a snug-fitting one fogs up my glasses. So I compromise. I wear a neck scarf on early morning walks through deserted streets where I rarely get close to anyone; that way, I have a face covering handy if I need it. And when I go to any enclosed public place or walk on a crowded sidewalk, of course I wear a mask. I do it as an act of solidarity as well as one of protection. My mask protects you; your mask protects me. It seems like it's going to be that way for a while, so we may as well get used to it.
Although freedom of choice and an abundance of options are the American way, the pandemic is giving us time to practice having fewer choices or even no choice--a theme explored in this week's episode of the Hidden Brain podcast. Psychologist Sheena Iyengar describes cultural differences in how people perceive choice. One study she did involved parents of children born with a rare brain disease. In France, doctors routinely remove such babies from life support, sparing parents the decision. In the United States, parents are asked to choose. Most American parents do opt to let their babies die rather than let them linger without brain function, but--unlike the French parents--they remain wracked with guilt and more "what-if's."
Certainly, many families are now experiencing the agony of seeing loved ones suffer in isolation. Many have to decide whether to let a beloved person go, often with no goodbyes. (For the record, I've had an awesome life and I have no interest in going on a ventilator or any other extreme means of keeping myself alive.)
Many choices are far less stark, but they can still feel fraught. Most of my freelance editorial work is gone, so naturally I am inclined to fret about what I will do once the special COVID-19 unemployment pay runs out in late July. But the fact is I may not have a whole lot of choice as an older adult in a compressed job market, and---blessed with some savings, no debt, and a simple lifestyle--I feel myself finding some peace with that.
There's freedom in not being defined nor limited by past choices, and perhaps in surrendering to fate and the freedom of not having so many options. What new ways will emerge to make ourselves useful?
P.S. You've likely seen this bedtime story-from-the-future video by now, but if not, enjoy. Also, if you need help getting back to sleep some night, here's a link to the lovely "spiritual book club" installment of On Being, in which Krista Tippett and Devendra Banhart share their mutual love of When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön.
No comments:
Post a Comment